I voted for John Kerry in the 2004 election. I guess it’s ok to talk about that now. I found him to be a bit of a political opportunist and was really unsure about his ability to lead but, after living through the first term of Bush I realized leadership skills were no longer a prerequisite for the most important job in America. Basically, I grudgingly warmed to Kerry because I didn’t think I had a better choice on election night. And I hated Bush’s ferret face so much I would have voted for AIDS for President over him. In fact, I was so determined to remove Bush from the White House that I even donated $100 to John Kerry’s political campaign—cash he probably spent on Botox and Atkins-friendly horse feed. I got emails thanking me for my generous donation, and then a weekly email letting me know how awesomely his campaign was going. I was all “high-five, JK.” Full of hope.

The election came and went and, miraculously, Americans decided they’d rather go one more round with Bush. I felt the way Huey Lewis must have felt when he stuck his head in that sink full of ice cubes for the “I Want a New Drug” video. (No, not super-cool, although I’m sure that’s how he felt, too. I mean shocked.) I did my best to keep it together after the election, and I put Kerry out of my mind, where he belonged. Problem is, he won’t leave me the fuck alone.

The post-election emails started off pretty harmless: “Hey, thanks for your support and sorry I messed that one up, buddy. Still friends?” I got a few of these, and then figured they’d sort of taper off, but they didn’t. I would continue to get emails from Kerry, reminding me of what a fuck-up Bush is, and asking if he could have a little extra scratch to purchase an ACME catapult to launch himself into the White House where he belonged. I still get his emails and now, every time I see his name in my inbox I scramble to delete it as fast as possible. I don’t really know how to unsubscribe from his mailing list, but every communication from him gives me the creeps. It’s actually really amazing that in a few short years the person I thought might be fit for the role of President of the United States now gets the same treatment as that weirdo I went to college with who found me by Googling my name after his divorce.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 18th, 2007 at 10:26 pm and is filed under politics, sux. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.