First off, I should probably say that I’ve never had to look for an apartment in New York City. Neal (bf) and Steven (bf’s bro) were kind enough to take care of that for me before I first came out here, and we’ve lived in that same apartment for the last six years. So even though I had a ridiculous amount of moving practice in Santa Cruz, I’ve also gotten way out of shape.

The first place I looked at was a basement apartment in South Park Slope for under $1000 (unheard of here, for those who have never experienced the steepness of NYC rental prices). It wasn’t tiny, it actually had windows, and the owner was very nice and seemed easy to deal with. And it had a BACKYARD. But the neighborhood is like a wasteland and I felt like I would have been exiling myself to move there. Plus: 1 tiny closet, no separate kitchen and living room area. I couldn’t see us and the kitties living there or calling it home. A no-go.

Railroad Apartments Basically Always Have Shitty Kitchens and Bathrooms

Next up, we looked at a railroad apartment in Bushwick for just over $1000. It was a little farther out than we intended to move, but we decided to give it a look. From the moment the guy opened the door, he was clearly taken with us, especially Neal. “Red beard!” he cried out as if he had known us for years. The apartment itself was nicer than I expected from the neighborhood, and the guy showing us the place was very enthusiastic about having us for neighbors. The kitchen was HUGE but the bathroom was tiny. The living room was nothing special, other than the fact that it was painted red and contained the apartment’s only closet. But it was a good one with shelves and overhead storage. Then there was a nondescript interim room that could have been used as an office. I loved the bedroom. It was fairly large and had a non-working fireplace. It was painted turquoise. The guy told us that the previous tenant had painted the place with her boyfriend, just before he died of a seizure and had asked him not to paint over it in order to preserve his memory. Gulp. The bad thing about the bedroom though, was that the prewar windows weren’t the safest, and the fire escape easily gave access to anyone on the street below. We were encouraged to learn there was roof access, but a little dismayed to find out that the roof was another shady prospect—nerve-racking to attempt access. Neal was braver than I. We liked it okay, but still had reservations, but as there were other couples there filling out and handing in applications, we were talked into filling one out too. As we left he whispered that he would be putting ours on the top of the pile he gave to the landlord.

Not 20 hours later, I got a voicemail from the guy: we had already been approved, and we could come pick up the keys and drop of the check that day. Um, what?! We were reeling with the overwhelming speed of the whole thing. I knew that rentals moved at a crazy New York pace, but this was a little ridiculous, especially when we already said we wouldn’t even be ready to move until sometime in November. We pushed for a night to think about it, and ultimately decided to pass. It may have been a good deal, but we weren’t ready to settle until we saw what else was out there. We were flooded with relief, and I knew we had made the right decision.

One Bedrooms ≠ One Bedrooms

A couple days later we looked at another place, also in Bushwick. It had been billed as a one bedroom. We were greeted by the super who gave us a set of keys and pointed vaguely up the stairs: we were to show ourselves around. I was sure he told us the second floor, so I turned the key to that apartment. Imagine my surprise when a Latina woman doing her dishes turned around in surprise. I apologized profusely and told her the super had sent us to look at the open apartment. She pointed up and simply said “Third floor.” Oops. When we got to the third floor we very quickly realized the situation at hand: the two available “one bedrooms” were actually one railroad apartment split into two, more like glorified studios. Kitchen, bathroom, separate bedroom… only no living space to speak of at all. We promptly returned the keys to the super and left.

Planty Closets!!!

The next apartment grouping was a group affair. We, along with a few other assorted couples met up with the broker in Greenpoint to look at a two bedroom apartment for $1300. I LOOOOVE the neighborhood and cherished the prospect of living there. But the apartment was more like a dorm: two small bedrooms, a bathroom, and a hallway of a “kitchen” connecting everything. It was a tight squeeze for the group. We were hustled in and out in under three minutes flat. It was a beautiful building in a beautiful neighborhood, but it was just not right for us. Sigh.

Today we looked at a place that, at first viewing of the Craigslist posting, seemed like a dream come true. Three bedrooms, basement access, and a backyard for $1400. I was even taken with the description of “PLANTY CLOSETS!!” I called the owner right away and obsessively awaited his response. Finally he called me back and we made an appointment to see the Bushwick apartment. I read the posting again, and realized that the reference to “LARGE basement!!!” may mean that the apartment itself was a basement, not that we had access to one. Still I hoped for the best. The moment we stepped down into the “apartment” I knew there was no way. There were no windows whatsoever, and it had a certain dungeony smell to it. The bachelor-pad decorations (one of them had the same awful bedspread that my high school boyfriend did) of the current occupants was only part of the bum-out factor. I couldn’t wait to stop the charade and get out of there, but first we had to see the backyard. As the owner opened up the basement doors and we stepped up into the light we were greeted with the sight of the overgrown backyard: weeds, weeds, and more tall, tall weeds. as much as I love the idea of Neal taking a machete to the backyard growths, it was clear that it would never happen. We left with our fantasies dashed, a little sadder and wiser about our prospects in Brooklyn.

We have no drop dead date, and a couple more prospects on the horizon. I hope my wise friend Sandra was right when she told me, “I have a good feeling you guys will find a good apartment. Probably not today but soon. Soon.”

This entry was posted on Monday, October 22nd, 2007 at 10:48 pm and is filed under house & home, self-empowerment. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.